So if you know much about me you know that I have an addiction. Addictions are hard things to admit, but I’m addicted to the TV show House. Why do we watch TV shows? Or read books? I think most of us look for things that define us. We want to know that someone else thinks like us, looks like us, and feels like us. People watch romantic movies because deep inside they desire that the romantic movie would come true in our lives. We want our prince charming to pursue us or a princess to pursue. As someone who has and still struggles with poor self esteem I desire to know that other people are like me, somehow it gives me a sense of fulfillment. While I enjoy other shows and movies, I enjoy House because of the Existential debate. Existentialism is the part of philosophy that studies existence. Throughout the show an atheist doctor named House continually tries to convince people that God doesn’t exist. And I eat it up; because I know that I love to question things. I want to know answers, and I want to know what questions those without faith ask.

   In last week’s episode Dr. House and his team have a Priest (Daniel) that has a medical condition that is unable to be diagnosed (the same as most of the episodes). House is in a conversation with the Daniel who reveals that he lost his faith. He felt like the Church abandoned him and God forsook him. House tells to the priest (Daniel) that he’s a hypocrite, continuing to do the Lords work without believing in him. The following transpires:
       House: Your Job
       Daniel: Sucks
       House: That’s my point. You could make more money frapping decaf's and yet your still
          ministering to the meek. Why do the Lords work if the Lord has left the building?
       Daniel: I’ve been with the church my entire adult life, it’s my only marketable skill
       House: I detect the stink of leftover faith
       Daniel: You want to talk hypocrisy, what about you? You act like you don't care
          about anyone, but here you are, saving lives.
       House: Solving puzzles. Saving lives is just collateral damage.
       Daniel: Yeah, nice try. I don't think you're looking for somebody to prove you right. I
         think you're looking for somebody to prove you wrong, to give you hope. You want to
         believe,don't you?

   I love when conversations like this transpire. I guess it's a part of me that likes to see those hidden thoughts and fears, that are deep inside us and rarely let out, out. At another point one of the doctors on House’s team has this conversation with Daniel:
       Daniel: My church abandoned me, and my God forsook me and I couldn't come up with
         a reason why God would do that.
       Kutner: God gave the Church and the kid free will. Their exercise of that free will hurt
         you means you're just a victim of God's gift to mankind.
       Daniel: Oh yeah, God wants life to have meaning. Life's meaningless without free will.
         With free will, there's already suffering. So God wants suffering. I got tired of that
         argument before I even finished saying it. And even if I bought that, what the hell is God
         doing? Just the big stuff?

   I was thinking of analyzing those statements further, but I will leave that to you. As I’m typing this I’m wondering to myself, What are you thinking? Do statements like that make you think? Do they cause you to respond? Or do they just head in one ear and out the other. I love the continual back and forth debate about existence that occurs here. I was asked at youth last week how to defend faith to people who don’t believe. I’ve spent a good bit of time thinking about that question and how best to answer it, and I’ve come to the following conclusion: by questioning our own faith we can defend it to others. Don’t get me wrong, the things God has done in our lives and for us is the basis of our faith. Jesus’ sacrifice paved a path for real and eternal life for us. (See Hebrews 5:7-9

   I had a friend that died a few years back because of someone's "mistake." I was left questioning why God would allow such a thing to happen. And you know what? I never got an answer, and I'm ok with that. I still continually search for why so much suffering occurs in the world. I can give the answers that I have heard others say, but i'm still not convinced that i know the right answer or that I ever will, so I continue to question. That doesn't mean I question if God loves us, or if Jesus died for us. I simply continue to question and to seek to understand more of the character of God.I truly believe that God desires that we seek him, and seek to understand more about him. I used to brush off comments like the second quote above. “Of course that’s not what God thinks since he’s all loving” I would say to myself, while not allowing myself to wrap my mind around the thought. I ran rather than answering. I used to not allow myself to think about things that caused me to question what I believe. I didn’t want to take the chance thinking or discussing things because I was afraid I might not believe what I thought I did, part of my insecurity I guess. But I believe God wants you to question, not to hide. He wants you to knock, seek, and ask. (Matthew 7:7)

   Do you know what you believe? Do you question? Have you grown up in church your whole life and never questioned or thought about what you believed? Have you believed simply because you were told to? Or were scared not to believe? Do you have a foundation for your faith? Are you seeking to find answers to the questions in your mind? Or are you simply running and hiding in the shell of faith?

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

~Matthew 7:7-8

   These are my thoughts. Let me know what you think.

Dave
Delandyouth@gmail.com